Has America lost its manners?

DIBYA SUBEDI/Cabell Midland

By Cody Thomas
Clay County High School

“Remember please and thank you,
‘Cause they’re the magic words.
Use ‘em in the morning, at noon and night,
‘Cause it’s a great way to be polite!
Please and thank you,
They’re the magic words.”

— “Please and Thank You,”
Phil Parker

Anyone who watched “Barney” as a child would recognize the song at left. It was penned to teach youngsters the basics of manners. But no matter how hard Barney may have tried to teach us as children, teenagers today have basically abandoned the idea of manners completely.

A 2002 survey by Public Agenda revealed some shocking statistics about manners in America. In it, 88 percent of respondents said they often or sometimes came across people who were rude or disrespectful, and 79 percent of them felt that disrespect and lack of courtesy were major problems. Furthermore, 62 percent said they were bothered a great deal by seeing rudeness in public. Those are all large numbers, which clearly shows that more than half of Americans are not pleased with the current manners situation.

Juanita Mayes, a science teacher at Clay County High School, can definitely see a change in students of the present compared to those of 20 years ago.

“My biggest upset with this generation is that when I was younger, you didn’t make fun of people so much,” she said, also noting that the teenagers who are kind and polite tend to be picked on by those who are rude.

Clay County juniors Lindsey Elkins and Brianna Morton agree with her. The two believe part of the reason for the decline in manners is that children and teens today are not disciplined enough for their discourtesy.

“When I was young and I didn’t use my manners, I got the apple tree switch to my rear end,” Morton said.

Elkins agreed with a resounding “Amen.”

Senior Stephanie Rudash said that disciplining children is important to help teach them manners. “It has been my experience in working with children that disciplining does work — just as long as you are not too harsh.”

However, not everyone agrees that manners have been completely abandoned. Sophomore Mindy Sizemore believes that it all has to do with where you live, and findings from the Public Agenda survey back her up. In it, three out of four Southerners said that it is always wrong to take God’s name in vain, but half of the Northerners surveyed thought it was OK or not completely wrong.

So who’s to blame for degrading manners? Answers to that question are divided.

Morton, Elkins and Rudash believe parents are responsible.

“Parents needed to step up to the bat when the child was young,” said Rudash. “Now that they are older and used to their habits, changing their manners and behavior at this point is almost irreversible.”

Mayes believes that in addition to the parents, the teenager is also at blame. “Any teen should be part of a church or organization that will teach them the proper manners.”

Sizemore blames society as a whole. “Hollywood, parents, friends — they all play a part in how a child behaves. You can’t just pin it down onto one person.”

But no matter where your convictions lie, it is statistically proven that manners have been in decline for the past few decades. However, not all hope is lost. There are things you can do to change this.

For instance, if you are around small children, be extra careful to use good manners. Kids pick up on the habits of those with whom they closely interact. Along the same note, always use courtesy around your elders.

Also, there are little things you can do in all the aspects of your life to improve your manners. Pay attention to how you carry yourself, cut back on swearing, don’t gossip about others and never interrupt a person while they are speaking. Once you begin to display respect, you’ll be more self-confident and also gain more respect from others.