“Crank”

By Andrew Smith
FlipSide film critic

These days, it’s nice to see a B-movie that actually embraces exactly what it is, rather than attempting to be something it is not. Unlike Mel Gibson’s recent “Apocalypto,” a lowbrow, simple-minded action movie hiding behind a façade of artistic and intellectual importance, “Crank,” recently released on DVD, is clear in its intentions from the get-go.

For anyone looking for a respite from the stuffy and serious films of the Oscar season that’s currently in full swing, “Crank” is a breath of cinematic fresh air. Sleazy, offensive, brain-dead and debauched, “Crank” is a film that revels in its sheer outrageousness. In doing so, it succeeds in being one of the most entertaining movies of 2006.

The film’s tagline sums up the entire movie better than any attempt at a plot synopsis ever could: “There are a thousand ways to raise your adrenaline. Today, Chev Chelios will need every single one.”

The fact that the main character’s name is Chev Chelios should clue the viewer into what kind of movie this is. Like the name, the movie is not only impossible to take seriously, it was never intended to be. “Crank” sets out to be the cinematic equivalent of an adrenaline rush, a hit of speed, a jolt to the heart — and in that respect, it succeeds brilliantly.

Chelios is a hit man injected with a heart-stopping poison by his enemies. He sets out to get even with them but, while doing so, he has to keep his heart rate up to stay alive. He tries every method available. Speeding cars, energy drinks, epinephrine pens, gun fights, defibrillators, sex and cocaine all find their way into this wonderfully outrageous movie.

The movie’s strength lies in its self-effacing sense of fun and ludicrousness. It accepts that it will never be anything more than 85 minutes of meaningless, visceral entertainment, so it takes that and absolutely runs with it.

The violence is bloody, the script is composed almost entirely of F-words and various slurs and the movie as a whole exhibits a non-existent morality. Every aspect of the movie is pushed to the limits, so it’s impossible to become truly upset or shocked by anything you see.

In fact, “Crank” could almost be taken as a social satire of America’s love for shock and controversy. By being so blatantly over-the-top and sparing no opportunity to push the envelope as far as possible, it’s actually so offensive that it becomes inoffensive.

Imagine every action movie you’ve ever seen. Take those films, grind them up, spit them out and give them a shot of, well, crank. Then, you’ll have some idea of what “Crank” is all about. This is one twisted piece of genre entertainment that’s destined to become a cult classic.