Learning to forgive and forget

By Natalie Tupta
Charleston Catholic High School

Your best friend betrays you. You find out “through the grapevine” that your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you. Your parents yell at you about the littlest things.

Any of these situations sound familiar?

Everybody knows what it’s like to be upset with somebody else. The constant struggle isn’t usually easy. Putting effort into avoiding a person and being angry at them can be emotionally draining and stressful.

So how does one move past the hard feelings?

Forgiveness.

Many people find forgiving others hard. But why? Maybe it’s because of their pride. Maybe they subconsciously like the drama. Maybe they don’t want to be close to the other person again.

Conversely, most people also know what it’s like to have somebody angry at them, a situation that can be equally sticky. Forgiveness is very important in this instance as well, especially if you want to continue having a relationship with the other person.

But no matter what the situation, forgiveness is important. “Forgiveness is important to me because without it, everybody would be constantly fighting,” Charleston Catholic sophomore Steph Werning said.

The tough part, though, can be bringing about that forgiveness. If you’re the one who’s got the rage, a good method, suggests Werning, is to “make a joke out of it.”

“Just relax and don’t hold grudges,” she said.

One classic, easier-said-than-done adage is “forgive and forget.” The bottom line on this end of the forgiving seems to be taking initiative and finding it within yourself to just move on with life.

If you’re the offender, you can usually speed the forgiveness process by offering a sincere apology and taking action to let the other person know that you are serious.

Show the other person that you respect them and are willing to go the extra mile to be in a peaceful relationship with him or her again. You also might want to give them some space as part of the respect. The bottom line here is showing that you are truly sorry for what has happened.

Ultimately, forgiveness isn’t easy, no matter which side of the argument you’re on. However, with courage and some compassion, forgiveness can be achieved, even if it takes a long time.